Following Directions

I have never been one to follow directions.  They scare me.  I'm afraid they'll be too complicated, too over-my-head, and so I just try to do it all on my own.

Bad idea.

"Just follow the directions,"  I can hear echoed in the voices of many.  While putting together a desk, I can hear my Mom saying it.  While making enchiladas, I can hear my boyfriend saying it.  And when it's written down there for you--right there smack dab in front of your face, really now, there are no excuses.

So, I caved in.  I read the directions.  And really, it wasn't so bad.  Even though I was dreading the moment of it's inception.  My nemesis: The Printer.  A big, honking gray and black boat.  To be more precise: the Canon PIXMA MP240.  Sounds like a war machine, right?  

And boy did it intimate me like an army tanker.  It stood there for a week, sharp and steady, aiming at my hands every morning.

"Piece me together or I'll explode in five, four, three, two.."

"Okay, I'll do it!"  I finally surrendered.  Wearing my army fatigues, I mean pajamas, I went to work on this beast.  Pulling out the scissors, snipping plastic bags open, ripping off cellophane and orange stickers.  I was determined to make this baby work.  I threw the cardboard box in the corner.  

"Well, aren't you vulnerable now?"  I hissed.  

Out of habit, I started pulling at plastic hinges and poking things into holes.  But things weren't quite fitting together.  My AHA moment: "I should probably follow the directions."

The book: 32 pages long, black and white, with pictures, and in both English and Spanish.

"Pues, voy a leer en Ingles, por favor."

--First, check the included items: two printer cartidges and a cable cord.  

Oh, I'm already there, baby.

--STEP 1: Open the Paper Output Tray (A).

Been there, done that.

--STEP 2: Lift the Scanning Unit (Cover) (B) until it locks into place.

NEXT!

--STEP 3: Open the Ink Cartridge Locking Cover (B) on the right side.  Pinch (F) firmly and pull up the cover.

Oh!  So THAT'S how you do it.  You see, these directions really are helping.

--STEP 4: Place the Black FINE Cartridge (B) into the right slot (B).  

B=Black.

--STEP 5: Push down (B) until you hear a click to close the Ink Cartridge Locking Cover (B) completely.  

I'm getting it!  It's working!  

I could go on about how I followed each step afterwards--how it went so smoothly.  I won't, but it did.  The only thing I was missing was a USB cord which I had to pick up at Best Buy the next day.  It's amazing how smoothly you can use your hands, put something together, if you simply give in, make it easy on yourself.  In the past, direction manuals always seemed too complicated, too convoluted for my liking.  Always, I imagined a Science dweeb who never left his dorm typing out the steps, howling with great laughter at the mishaps I'd be making. 

But whoever made this manual, was a nice guy.  Someone, I would want to eat a meal with.  You know, shoot the shit with.  Because they make things easy.  And in this day in age, when you have more important things to do than get a headache over a silly printer, that's...that's nice.